Day FIVE of Change=Comittment *6-1-10*

Today is Saturday and I always tend to slack off on the weekends and promise to 'start back up on Monday!' Then Monday rolls around and I never go back to eating right and exercising!!! I decided that I am NOT going to slack off on the weekends, but I have to strive to eat right AND eat LESS EVERY day!!! I spent the day sending out my resume to different companies in order to get back to work. I also completed my application for Financial Aid. Once I get a job, I am going back to school part time and working my school schedule around my work schedule. That way the bills can be paid and I still get an education, slowly but surely!!! I am almost done with my Associate's Degree and I hope to get a job as a Teacher's Aide. When I do, I can finish my degree online or after school.... again slowly but surely! I have tried many times to do all of this: lose weight, go back to school and etc..... and have failed many times. I have been drifting thru life... just EXISTING! I am going to LIVE and if I fall..... I will get back up and TRY.... TRY.... AGAIN!!!!!! So, if any haters read this and try to bring up my PAST, let me remind you that 'He who is without sin, can cast the first stone!!' As long as I am STRIVING, I know God can lead me to victory!!! The picture I posted was taken in San Antonio by one of my best friends, Jennifer. I believe it was in 2007 or 2008. I had already started my personal journey and had been doing great losing weight. This picture reminds me of how beautiful I can be if I get healthier!!!! There were other pictures taken, that I no longer have.... but that's for another blog!! Lol! ;) I had an omelette & wheat toast for breakfast. I had a sandwich on wheat bread with an apple for lunch. For dinner...... well.... I'll spare you the details. I did strive to eat less and say no to some foods. We had a birthday celebration for my cousin, (like 3rd cousin or so)Desi who turned 6 yrs old! I did NOT have chocolate cake. I had sugar free pineapple pie and ONE bitesized brownie. That was my chocolate fix. Overall, I am doing good. From eating whenever, however, as much as I wanted and at any time... I am proud of my discipline! Each day I will get stronger and LEARN to say no to 'bad' foods! Learn that if I am CRAVING chocolate, that one tiny bite is SUFFICIENT!!!!! Overall, day FIVE was successful... in MY book!!! PS I am eating apples, oranges and bananas for snacks and drinking Wyler's Sugar Free drinks, milk or water!!! ;)

Day FOUR of Change=Comittment *6-1-10*

I was reminded of my nephew Ethan's 'out of the blue' quote while I was in San Antonio. He came up to me and said, 'Duh duh (that's what he calls me because when he was learning to speak he couldn't say SANDRA) when you die, I will NEVER forget you! You will always be in my heart!' Then he pounded on his chest over his heart. I know he got that from me because I always tell him I love him with all of my heart and I pound on my chest for emphasis. At first, I was happy thinking he truly loved me... which I know he does. It got me to thinking though. At the rate I am going and the lifestyle I've been living, he might have to say good-bye to his Duh Duh way too SOON! That is why I have posted a pic of my Ethan. It will remind me that he is looking for me to be here, to watch him grow up and be a good man. As I continue on to Day 4, I feel myself getting stronger and my body remembers the exercise I was so diligent at. Today I had Special K Cereal for breakfast. I did the Leslie Sansone 'Walk away the Pounds at Home' Video. She teaches me to walk a mile in a very unique way. I have to walk in place, do kicks, do sidesteps, do knee lifts, arm lifts and not only walk forward a few paces but also walk backwards a few paces. I think that is why my buttocks have been sore! ;) I like the variety she offers as I need to lose weight EVERYWHERE! As I build up endurance, I will switch to the 2 mile Video and upward. For now I am doing her 1 mile video at least once a day and sometimes twice a day! It feels good to be trying and striving to become healthier! I know I will lose weight very quickly as I have SOOOO much to lose! I had a decent lunch and cutting down on dinner! I had hoped to eliminate dinner, but my nutritionist said it's not a good idea. Maybe I can have Special K Cereal for dinner too! One step at a time, but I am very proud of myself! My attitude is changing from 'I don't care what goes into my body to I want to be healthy and live a longer life!!!' Thus ends day 4 of my personal journey to a healthier me!

Change=Comittment 6-1-10 Day THREE!!

Day THREE!! I have already done one Leslie Sansone 'Walk Away the Pounds at Home!' Video!!!! It is kicking my buttocks (gluteus maximas) BIG time! I am huffing and puffing and turning beet red! I collapse on the sofa afterwards, but guess what? It feels good! As a matter of fact, it feels DAYUMMMM good!!! Oh my! I cussed! Get over it! I am human and I am FIGHTING for my life here!!! I even spelled damn wrong on purpose! WOW! Move on! ;) I ate a bowl of Sandralee's Special K Medley for breakfast. It is now 2 pm and I am going to eat lunch! I am having tuna... maybe... Will post what I ate later! I got caught up in the exercise and my blog... oh and FACEBOOK! Facebook has now become my archnemesis!! It has become addictive. I am fighting to log off and concentrate on LIVING! Like my Tia says, 'Come back to the real world and let the computer world go!!' This is very true! I am constantly on FB! This too shall change. Of course, when I get a job & go back to school it will HAVE to change.... but I want to be able to say I changed it.... because I COULD... well thru God of course! That is putting Him first and then everything else will fall into place! I am off to eat lunch, I have a headache! Can you believe, I FORGOT to eat my snack and lunch!!! ONLY day three and a MIRACLE has occurred!!!!! lol! ;) Be back to post the ending of day three later on! Muah! I ended up having a Tuna sandwich on wheat toast, popcorn and Wyler's sugar free Cherry kool-aid!! I had the leftover Taco from the night before for dinner and one Enchilada. Then I had a bowl of Special K cereal later in the evening. I really need to work on dinner, but I am taking steps to do better!!!! Thus ends Day THREE!!!!!!!!!!

Day TWO of Change=Comittment *6-1-10*

My cousin Carolyn gave me this along with a cute basket on Easter! She didn't have to do that, I am not a child! Yet I appreciated it so much because I will never let go of BELIEVING with a child like heart! Little tokens such as these mean everything to me! Day two was a success! I exercised in the morning and kept a positive attitude. I am ready to start living! I have been searching for a job and I know God will place me where I need to be! I had Special K Cereal for breakfast! I call it 'Sandralee's Special K Medley!' I combined the strawberry, chocolate and almond Special K Cereal and it is soooo tasty! You all ought to try it! You never know what delicious treat you will eat in each spoonful! That way you won't get bored with breakfast! A lifestyle change includes a spiritual and physical change. I am trying to seek God more. It's hard for me to kneel and pray like I used to so long ago! My mind starts wandering and I forget what I was saying to God. This is another form of discipline for me. When I get established with a job, I am going to have a strict schedule as I am planning on going back to school. I have to work my school schedule around my job schedule because BILLS have to be paid! Unless there is a Sugar Papi that will 'hook me up!' lol! ;) So all in all, it has to be a complete change of mind and way of thinking if this health journey is going to be successful! I did eat Mexican food for dinner. I had an Orange and a Yogurt for lunch because I knew I was going out to eat with my Cousin. I KNOW I could have ordered the Child's Plate, but I didn't! That is a goal I am striving for!!! The portions have to be small in order for everything to work together and LOSE weight! Day two has come to an end and all is well!!!! By FAITH! ;)

Change=Comittment 6-1-10 Day ONE!!

Having been on a personal journey to become a better person for two years, I decided to face another HUGE monster in my life! Before I go there, another obstacle that I have learned to overcome is celibacy. When I was pregnant, I vowed not to have sexual intercourse until after I had the baby. I am considered a high risk pregnancy so I was trying to eliminate any and every obstacles that would prevent me in having my baby. Sadly, as those who know me & do read my blog (Ugly Betty attitude.... if she can reach just ONE) I lost my baby due to miscarriage on July 30,2009. I decided to continue my vow of celibacy after the loss of my son. Today I have been celibate for 1 year and two months!!!! After my divorce, I was not who I wanted to be. There is no need to dwell on the past and bring up past relationships, but celibacy was a HUGE monster in my life. Enough said!!! Every person has a past and we are NOT to judge! Having settled into an amicable existance with celibacy, I am now concentrating on my health. I am morbidly obese, no skirting around the issue!! Everyone who has seen me in person knows that is a FACT! I have always been overweight yet ALWAYS active! After the loss of my son, depression SLOWLY crept into my life. Maybe I was slow in recognizing or ADMITTING it! Either way, I have not been physically active as in exercise for a LONG time! I try to start and then quickly fail! I decided a GREAT way to be held accountable is to PUBLICLY announce the start of a NEW personal journey/battle for my health!!! I am NOT dieting, because diets are temporary... I am searching for a lifestyle change that will be with me for as long as I am here on Earth. TODAY is the day I started FIGHTING for my life. I have started in the only way I know, the way I was brought up and the way I KNOW will work!! That is thru GOD!!! The daily verse for today was a perfect fit, 'Proverbs 3:6 In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your EFFORTS with SUCCESS!!!!' PERFECT!!!! I have begun a 'diet' sooo many times and FAILED miserably! This time I am doing things the right way! 1. Put God first and ask Him for daily help! 2. Publicly make myself accountable thru this blog! 3. Working with a Nutritionist who has given me a GREAT meal plan!! 4. Start exercising MY way! I am OBESE, so I can NOT go run 5 miles today! I have not been ACTIVE in FOREVER!! I am starting with what I can do to build up endurance. I am doing the 'Leslie Sansone Walk away the Pounds at Home' Videos! As I build up endurance, then I will increase my exercise regime!!! 5. Eat LESS, STOP eating Hot Cheetos!! Hot Cheetos are my ultimate weakness!! Eat the RIGHT combinations of food in smaller portions! 6. Seek help! I have made a huge step in getting my life back in order. I have sought medical guidance for my depression and my Doctor has given me a personal plan. She will be monitering me! I can beat this!!! 7. Support from my family & friends who have ALWAYS been available for me yet I have pushed them away! Thank you guys for loving me! There are many other things in my life that will help me lose weight and get back on track to healthy living, but these are the most important ones to me! Another thing I HAVE to do and I am doing is letting the death of my son go, once and for all. Letting go of the GRIEF does NOT mean I am forgetting his memory! He will ALWAYS be in my heart! My mom says she is working hard to get to Heaven to hug, kiss and love on her Grandbaby, Josiah Daniel! I also need to visit his grave and get him a proper headstone. I am thinking of having a little memorial service fo him on the anniversary of the day I lost him. That will give me enough time to get stronger and face his grave with dignity! He is no longer there, he is in Heaven! I was wanting to write about what I had eaten and so forth, but this is what came out of my heart! ;) I ate well and I exercised 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night! That is ULTIMATE for me as I have not been active. It kicked my buttocks, but I will build up endurance and get to some hard core exercise when by body is ready!!! I am not going to over do it and then QUIT!! I have to listen to my body! This is what my Doctor and Nutritionist told me to do... well they said 15 minutes a day to start but I did 30..... I can do this!!!! Hence starts the first day of the rest of my life!! Everything will fall into place, because God will be first in my life!!! My walk with God, my celibacy, my health, my job and my whole entire life! This is the way it should be! It's never too LATE to get your life started! I have to BELIEVE that with all of my HEART!! God bless, day one over and out! 10-4!!! ;)