Back to Blogging! Me sickies! 9/14/10 Tuesday

I just joined a dear friend's blog which reminded me that I haven't blogged in months. Just a little post to share some random thoughts today. I am home today due to Doctor's Orders. On Saturday, my Ear started aching and then increased overnight to a throbbing PAIN! I didn't go to Church so I could rest and try to get better but by Monday morning, I felt like passing out with the pain. The entire right side of my face, from my lower jar to the upper side of my head was swollen. I got dressed for work because my Mom always says it's better to make an effort to go in to work and have them send you home that calling in and them thinking you're not really sick. I put make-up on and dressed up but the right side of my face must have been splotched with Cover Girl Make up because I couldn't blend it in. Just going NEAR the right side of my face was TORTURE! I went in to work 30 minutes early and explained the situation to my Manager & the Member Manager. They thought it could be a bug bite. My right ear was a very ANGRY red and completely swollen shut from the inside to the point that I couldn't hear from that ear. So they suggested if I couldn't perform my job at 100% to go ahead and go to the Dr. So, off to my Dr's office I went. Since I was a WALK-IN and my Dr has an EXTREMELY busy Office.... well you know the rest. I got there at 9:30 am. The Office was already full. I kept my dark sunglasses on. I didn't want ANYBODY to look at me, talk to me and not so much as breathe in my direction. I kept my right shoulder up as in creating a wall of defense and huddled in my chair, almost screaming in MASSIVE pain! Patients came and went... I FINALLY got called in around 11:30 am or so. I was BRAVE... err the pain made me angry so better yet I was MEAN in the lobby. I was BRAVE when the Nurse took my temperature and said I had fever. After she took my Vitals, she took me into a room. After about a 30 minute wait in which I called my mommy & also called my Church Mentor, Women's Ministry Pastor Sister Sonia, the Dr. came in. So, my Doctor is probably in his 40's. He is MARRIED with kids but that man is HANDSOME! He has the cutest green eyes and he is so gentle and caring, not rushes you like other Doctors. He walks in with his blue jeans and White Coat.... 'Ms Guerra it's been a while since I've seen you. What's going on?' I took one look at him and busted out crying. I told him that I was in SEVERE pain and that my ear kept pulsating/throbbing non-stop. I told him I know I have a round face but I'm telling you the right side of my face is swollen. He goes to get his 'ear gadget' to look into my ear and sits on his stool, scooting over to me. He TRIES to look into my ear but after one second (in which he didn't even attempt to push the ear gadget in) he says, 'It's too swollen to see anything.' Then he tries to look into my mouth to see if it's my wisdom teeth but also says it's too swollen to see anything. He prescribes me a Pain Killer and Antibiotic. I asked for an excuse to go back to work after I picked up my Prescriptions and he says, 'No ma'am. You are NOT going back to work. There's no way you can work with that much pain. Plus, we have to see how the Pain Pills and Antibiotics affect you.' I will excuse you for today and tomorrow (being Monday and Tuesday). Do not go back to work Wednesday until you have checked in with me. He then explained his priority was alleviating the pain and the swelling in order to determine what was causing it. He said it could be a bad ear infection, an insect bite OR my wisdom teeth/tooth among other possibilities. He also said if it was my wisdom tooth, I would have to go to the Dentist/Specialist. I have to check in with him on Wednesday morning & update him on the swelling/pain and any other symptoms. My Nurse Lillie comes in & tells me to follow her back to the Intake Room, proceeds to give me my prescriptions and then tells me she is going to give me three shots. I yelled, 'THREE? For what?' She's from Cuba and has a STRONG accent so she smiles, shakes her head at me and holds up TWO fingers! One for the Inflammation/Pain and one is an Antibiotic. For those of you who know me very well know that I am a BIG baby when it comes to shots. Ok! Ok! When it comes to many things! lol! ;) I HATE shots! One time when I was pregnant, the Nurse dropped a tube of my blood, bent over to pick it up, lost her grip on the INSERTED needle and the needle twisted at an angle and blood started squirting all over me and my then husband. He was jumping out of his chair ready to beat her butt! I tried not to pass out while trying to calm my then husband down. That experience just intensified my FEAR! Anyways, back to my story. She prepared the shots while I tried NOT to run out of the room. The pain I was in needed to be alleviated and that is WHY I stayed! She proceeds to give me one shot on one butt cheek and the other one on the other butt cheek. I SCREAMED in pain as the medicine started burning as it went in. Lillie sounded SOOOO surprised that it hurt! She told me it wasn't supposed to hurt. The needle going in didn't but the medicine made my butt burn! I think they heard me yelling in the Lobby because ALL eyes were staring at me when I walked out! I ran to the Nurse's Counter, picked up my Doctor's Excuse and was told to call the Dr. back on Wednesday to update him before I went in to work. Next, I went to the Pharmacy to pick up my Prescriptions at MY HEB where they know me by Name. I thought I was going to be slick & minimize the wait time due to the shots kicking in and my pain, so I TOLD Lilly (yes another Lilly, I'm not 'looped' out ;) lol) that I did have Insurance but I THOUGHT it would be cheaper and faster to run it thru the HEB Rewards Program. NOPE! The Antibiotics would come out to almost $290 WITH the Rewards. The pharmacist suggested he could call the Dr and try to get a Generic Brand that would cost less thru the Rewards program. The Dr. switched the Meds to two generics and one pain at $40 each. This was NOT saving me time so I gave Lilly my Insurance Card. The Pharmacist was UPSET at this time. He said with my Insurance Card, the two Generic Antibiotics and the one Pain Killer would be REALLY expensive, but the ORIGINAL prescription with my insurance card would only be ONE antibiotic and ONE pain killer at $15 each. He had to call the Dr. back to get my prescription changed YET again. Trying to make an easy transaction so that I could go home and go to bed turned out to be a 2 hour wait, and that was with me FASTING since I didn't know if the Doctor needed to draw blood or what have you. At 2 pm I got home from Work, the Doctor's Office and the Pharmacy being in MASSIVE pain and without eating. I sat down to eat at home and when I opened my mouth and started chewing my food I ALMOST passed out! It hurt to open my mouth, chew and swallow. Yet this BIG girl made it thru since I had to take my meds with food. ;) The pain killers kicked in and made me soooo loopy and feel no pain, but I couldn't go to sleep for some reason so I spent the afternoon in a haze talking to my Cousin, Wally. I have NO idea what we talked about, but I hope it made sense! I missed my overnight pill so when I woke up this morning, the DREADED pain was back! I quickly ate some Cereal and took my medication. I now feel noooo pain. The swelling has gone down some but I still can't put a Q-tip in my ear so it's still swollen from the inside. I know it takes some time for the Antibiotics to work their magic so eventually this too shall pass. Today I am at home resting and letting the medication kick in. Along with Prayer, Positive thinking and under Dr's care, I will be just fine! Thanks to all who have emailed, texted, called, sent messages on Facebook and IM'd me with love, support, prayers and well wishes. Hopefully, my Dr. will release me back to work. It might sound NERDY but I do miss my Members. I like living up to my name.... Sandra- Helper of Mankind and Guerra- War... I like to help the Members and FIGHT the Provider's when my members are not being treated right. Of course, FIGHT in a professional manner! No offense to my Medical Occupation friends, but some of these Nurses, Dr's and Office Staff can be so RUDE! If they treat ME like that, how do you think they treat elderly people with hearing issues or illnesses. NOT on my WATCH!!!!!! I truly believe God has placed me at this occupation for a REASON!! To help my Members by promoting health and well-being. While I am helping my members I am daily reminded of MY health and well-being. We are starting a Diet Contest at work. We have a designated walking path in the Building with little foorprints leading the way. We can bring our walking shoes and walk during our lunch and breaks. Then to top ALL that off, my Manager's name is also SANDRA LEE! For real! She looks like Paula Dean on the Food Channel and even sounds like her! I have heard NOTHING but great things about her! Other Co-workers say she's a 'mom' and LOVES to cook for her kiddos! In all truthfulness, God opened the door for me to be hired at UH. The hiring process was grueling! I am truly blessed! As I get older, I realize it's NEVER too late to live your life right! I pray I perform above and beyond all expectations at work, with God by my side! I will take care of my job and am hoping to make this my 'late in life, but better late than never' career. They have Medical/Dental and Vision Insurance, they have an Adoption Reimbursement Program, 401K and all of those perks! Of course, on the side I will be writing and striving to become a published author. Plus, in 2012 the Company is looking to start a 'Work at Home' Program. They come into your home and set EVERYTHING up for you!! ;) Life is looking good! I just hate that I had to miss work these two days. I am hoping to advance one day as my Trainer suggested to take advantage of any and all opportunities to do so. I will rest for the rest of the day and get better to get back to my normally scheduled life!!! God bless! Take Care! I'm sure only 1-2 people will read this LONG blog, but that's ok! I'm just sharing my thoughts and documenting them for myself. So I can look back and see the even BIGGER blessings God will send my way. To see the results of my journey in life with Christ! God is good all of the time and all of the time God is good!

Day FIVE of Change=Comittment *6-1-10*

Today is Saturday and I always tend to slack off on the weekends and promise to 'start back up on Monday!' Then Monday rolls around and I never go back to eating right and exercising!!! I decided that I am NOT going to slack off on the weekends, but I have to strive to eat right AND eat LESS EVERY day!!! I spent the day sending out my resume to different companies in order to get back to work. I also completed my application for Financial Aid. Once I get a job, I am going back to school part time and working my school schedule around my work schedule. That way the bills can be paid and I still get an education, slowly but surely!!! I am almost done with my Associate's Degree and I hope to get a job as a Teacher's Aide. When I do, I can finish my degree online or after school.... again slowly but surely! I have tried many times to do all of this: lose weight, go back to school and etc..... and have failed many times. I have been drifting thru life... just EXISTING! I am going to LIVE and if I fall..... I will get back up and TRY.... TRY.... AGAIN!!!!!! So, if any haters read this and try to bring up my PAST, let me remind you that 'He who is without sin, can cast the first stone!!' As long as I am STRIVING, I know God can lead me to victory!!! The picture I posted was taken in San Antonio by one of my best friends, Jennifer. I believe it was in 2007 or 2008. I had already started my personal journey and had been doing great losing weight. This picture reminds me of how beautiful I can be if I get healthier!!!! There were other pictures taken, that I no longer have.... but that's for another blog!! Lol! ;) I had an omelette & wheat toast for breakfast. I had a sandwich on wheat bread with an apple for lunch. For dinner...... well.... I'll spare you the details. I did strive to eat less and say no to some foods. We had a birthday celebration for my cousin, (like 3rd cousin or so)Desi who turned 6 yrs old! I did NOT have chocolate cake. I had sugar free pineapple pie and ONE bitesized brownie. That was my chocolate fix. Overall, I am doing good. From eating whenever, however, as much as I wanted and at any time... I am proud of my discipline! Each day I will get stronger and LEARN to say no to 'bad' foods! Learn that if I am CRAVING chocolate, that one tiny bite is SUFFICIENT!!!!! Overall, day FIVE was successful... in MY book!!! PS I am eating apples, oranges and bananas for snacks and drinking Wyler's Sugar Free drinks, milk or water!!! ;)

Day FOUR of Change=Comittment *6-1-10*

I was reminded of my nephew Ethan's 'out of the blue' quote while I was in San Antonio. He came up to me and said, 'Duh duh (that's what he calls me because when he was learning to speak he couldn't say SANDRA) when you die, I will NEVER forget you! You will always be in my heart!' Then he pounded on his chest over his heart. I know he got that from me because I always tell him I love him with all of my heart and I pound on my chest for emphasis. At first, I was happy thinking he truly loved me... which I know he does. It got me to thinking though. At the rate I am going and the lifestyle I've been living, he might have to say good-bye to his Duh Duh way too SOON! That is why I have posted a pic of my Ethan. It will remind me that he is looking for me to be here, to watch him grow up and be a good man. As I continue on to Day 4, I feel myself getting stronger and my body remembers the exercise I was so diligent at. Today I had Special K Cereal for breakfast. I did the Leslie Sansone 'Walk away the Pounds at Home' Video. She teaches me to walk a mile in a very unique way. I have to walk in place, do kicks, do sidesteps, do knee lifts, arm lifts and not only walk forward a few paces but also walk backwards a few paces. I think that is why my buttocks have been sore! ;) I like the variety she offers as I need to lose weight EVERYWHERE! As I build up endurance, I will switch to the 2 mile Video and upward. For now I am doing her 1 mile video at least once a day and sometimes twice a day! It feels good to be trying and striving to become healthier! I know I will lose weight very quickly as I have SOOOO much to lose! I had a decent lunch and cutting down on dinner! I had hoped to eliminate dinner, but my nutritionist said it's not a good idea. Maybe I can have Special K Cereal for dinner too! One step at a time, but I am very proud of myself! My attitude is changing from 'I don't care what goes into my body to I want to be healthy and live a longer life!!!' Thus ends day 4 of my personal journey to a healthier me!

Change=Comittment 6-1-10 Day THREE!!

Day THREE!! I have already done one Leslie Sansone 'Walk Away the Pounds at Home!' Video!!!! It is kicking my buttocks (gluteus maximas) BIG time! I am huffing and puffing and turning beet red! I collapse on the sofa afterwards, but guess what? It feels good! As a matter of fact, it feels DAYUMMMM good!!! Oh my! I cussed! Get over it! I am human and I am FIGHTING for my life here!!! I even spelled damn wrong on purpose! WOW! Move on! ;) I ate a bowl of Sandralee's Special K Medley for breakfast. It is now 2 pm and I am going to eat lunch! I am having tuna... maybe... Will post what I ate later! I got caught up in the exercise and my blog... oh and FACEBOOK! Facebook has now become my archnemesis!! It has become addictive. I am fighting to log off and concentrate on LIVING! Like my Tia says, 'Come back to the real world and let the computer world go!!' This is very true! I am constantly on FB! This too shall change. Of course, when I get a job & go back to school it will HAVE to change.... but I want to be able to say I changed it.... because I COULD... well thru God of course! That is putting Him first and then everything else will fall into place! I am off to eat lunch, I have a headache! Can you believe, I FORGOT to eat my snack and lunch!!! ONLY day three and a MIRACLE has occurred!!!!! lol! ;) Be back to post the ending of day three later on! Muah! I ended up having a Tuna sandwich on wheat toast, popcorn and Wyler's sugar free Cherry kool-aid!! I had the leftover Taco from the night before for dinner and one Enchilada. Then I had a bowl of Special K cereal later in the evening. I really need to work on dinner, but I am taking steps to do better!!!! Thus ends Day THREE!!!!!!!!!!

Day TWO of Change=Comittment *6-1-10*

My cousin Carolyn gave me this along with a cute basket on Easter! She didn't have to do that, I am not a child! Yet I appreciated it so much because I will never let go of BELIEVING with a child like heart! Little tokens such as these mean everything to me! Day two was a success! I exercised in the morning and kept a positive attitude. I am ready to start living! I have been searching for a job and I know God will place me where I need to be! I had Special K Cereal for breakfast! I call it 'Sandralee's Special K Medley!' I combined the strawberry, chocolate and almond Special K Cereal and it is soooo tasty! You all ought to try it! You never know what delicious treat you will eat in each spoonful! That way you won't get bored with breakfast! A lifestyle change includes a spiritual and physical change. I am trying to seek God more. It's hard for me to kneel and pray like I used to so long ago! My mind starts wandering and I forget what I was saying to God. This is another form of discipline for me. When I get established with a job, I am going to have a strict schedule as I am planning on going back to school. I have to work my school schedule around my job schedule because BILLS have to be paid! Unless there is a Sugar Papi that will 'hook me up!' lol! ;) So all in all, it has to be a complete change of mind and way of thinking if this health journey is going to be successful! I did eat Mexican food for dinner. I had an Orange and a Yogurt for lunch because I knew I was going out to eat with my Cousin. I KNOW I could have ordered the Child's Plate, but I didn't! That is a goal I am striving for!!! The portions have to be small in order for everything to work together and LOSE weight! Day two has come to an end and all is well!!!! By FAITH! ;)

Change=Comittment 6-1-10 Day ONE!!

Having been on a personal journey to become a better person for two years, I decided to face another HUGE monster in my life! Before I go there, another obstacle that I have learned to overcome is celibacy. When I was pregnant, I vowed not to have sexual intercourse until after I had the baby. I am considered a high risk pregnancy so I was trying to eliminate any and every obstacles that would prevent me in having my baby. Sadly, as those who know me & do read my blog (Ugly Betty attitude.... if she can reach just ONE) I lost my baby due to miscarriage on July 30,2009. I decided to continue my vow of celibacy after the loss of my son. Today I have been celibate for 1 year and two months!!!! After my divorce, I was not who I wanted to be. There is no need to dwell on the past and bring up past relationships, but celibacy was a HUGE monster in my life. Enough said!!! Every person has a past and we are NOT to judge! Having settled into an amicable existance with celibacy, I am now concentrating on my health. I am morbidly obese, no skirting around the issue!! Everyone who has seen me in person knows that is a FACT! I have always been overweight yet ALWAYS active! After the loss of my son, depression SLOWLY crept into my life. Maybe I was slow in recognizing or ADMITTING it! Either way, I have not been physically active as in exercise for a LONG time! I try to start and then quickly fail! I decided a GREAT way to be held accountable is to PUBLICLY announce the start of a NEW personal journey/battle for my health!!! I am NOT dieting, because diets are temporary... I am searching for a lifestyle change that will be with me for as long as I am here on Earth. TODAY is the day I started FIGHTING for my life. I have started in the only way I know, the way I was brought up and the way I KNOW will work!! That is thru GOD!!! The daily verse for today was a perfect fit, 'Proverbs 3:6 In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your EFFORTS with SUCCESS!!!!' PERFECT!!!! I have begun a 'diet' sooo many times and FAILED miserably! This time I am doing things the right way! 1. Put God first and ask Him for daily help! 2. Publicly make myself accountable thru this blog! 3. Working with a Nutritionist who has given me a GREAT meal plan!! 4. Start exercising MY way! I am OBESE, so I can NOT go run 5 miles today! I have not been ACTIVE in FOREVER!! I am starting with what I can do to build up endurance. I am doing the 'Leslie Sansone Walk away the Pounds at Home' Videos! As I build up endurance, then I will increase my exercise regime!!! 5. Eat LESS, STOP eating Hot Cheetos!! Hot Cheetos are my ultimate weakness!! Eat the RIGHT combinations of food in smaller portions! 6. Seek help! I have made a huge step in getting my life back in order. I have sought medical guidance for my depression and my Doctor has given me a personal plan. She will be monitering me! I can beat this!!! 7. Support from my family & friends who have ALWAYS been available for me yet I have pushed them away! Thank you guys for loving me! There are many other things in my life that will help me lose weight and get back on track to healthy living, but these are the most important ones to me! Another thing I HAVE to do and I am doing is letting the death of my son go, once and for all. Letting go of the GRIEF does NOT mean I am forgetting his memory! He will ALWAYS be in my heart! My mom says she is working hard to get to Heaven to hug, kiss and love on her Grandbaby, Josiah Daniel! I also need to visit his grave and get him a proper headstone. I am thinking of having a little memorial service fo him on the anniversary of the day I lost him. That will give me enough time to get stronger and face his grave with dignity! He is no longer there, he is in Heaven! I was wanting to write about what I had eaten and so forth, but this is what came out of my heart! ;) I ate well and I exercised 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night! That is ULTIMATE for me as I have not been active. It kicked my buttocks, but I will build up endurance and get to some hard core exercise when by body is ready!!! I am not going to over do it and then QUIT!! I have to listen to my body! This is what my Doctor and Nutritionist told me to do... well they said 15 minutes a day to start but I did 30..... I can do this!!!! Hence starts the first day of the rest of my life!! Everything will fall into place, because God will be first in my life!!! My walk with God, my celibacy, my health, my job and my whole entire life! This is the way it should be! It's never too LATE to get your life started! I have to BELIEVE that with all of my HEART!! God bless, day one over and out! 10-4!!! ;)

Sandralee's Adventures in San Antonio, Day NINETEEN!

Today is Tuesday and it is a VERY blah day! Enough said. Just spent the day at the Daycare and had Subway for lunch. Jenn took me to HEB to buy supplies and I got a RASPA aka Snow Cone on the way! It was Blue Coconut and it was YUMMY! ;)Went to bed at 9 pm and that was my day! ;) Sorry, I am not feeling Inspired today! For any MEN that might read this blog, Do NOT read this part! My monthly visitor came to visit a few days early, hence the BLAH BLAH BLAH day! After so many years, you would think it would get easier and a little more bearable!!! NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( So, today is a horrible day! Crampy, achy, moody, bloaty, and to top ALL of that off.... I still have ALLERGIES! So, please let me have this day to complain and be miserable! Bleeeeeeeeccccccchhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Arrrrrgghhhh! :( :( :( X 1,000!!!!!!!! So, in order to spare everyone any more NASTY details, I will close this day..... leave it as the day from heck! Booooooooooooooooooooo! :( Sandralee O-U-T!!!!!!!!!!!!