Having been on a personal journey to become a better person for two years, I decided to face another HUGE monster in my life! Before I go there, another obstacle that I have learned to overcome is celibacy. When I was pregnant, I vowed not to have sexual intercourse until after I had the baby. I am considered a high risk pregnancy so I was trying to eliminate any and every obstacles that would prevent me in having my baby. Sadly, as those who know me & do read my blog (Ugly Betty attitude.... if she can reach just ONE) I lost my baby due to miscarriage on July 30,2009. I decided to continue my vow of celibacy after the loss of my son. Today I have been celibate for 1 year and two months!!!! After my divorce, I was not who I wanted to be. There is no need to dwell on the past and bring up past relationships, but celibacy was a HUGE monster in my life. Enough said!!! Every person has a past and we are NOT to judge! Having settled into an amicable existance with celibacy, I am now concentrating on my health. I am morbidly obese, no skirting around the issue!! Everyone who has seen me in person knows that is a FACT! I have always been overweight yet ALWAYS active! After the loss of my son, depression SLOWLY crept into my life. Maybe I was slow in recognizing or ADMITTING it! Either way, I have not been physically active as in exercise for a LONG time! I try to start and then quickly fail! I decided a GREAT way to be held accountable is to PUBLICLY announce the start of a NEW personal journey/battle for my health!!! I am NOT dieting, because diets are temporary... I am searching for a lifestyle change that will be with me for as long as I am here on Earth. TODAY is the day I started FIGHTING for my life. I have started in the only way I know, the way I was brought up and the way I KNOW will work!! That is thru GOD!!! The daily verse for today was a perfect fit, 'Proverbs 3:6 In everything you do, put God first, and He will direct you and crown your EFFORTS with SUCCESS!!!!' PERFECT!!!! I have begun a 'diet' sooo many times and FAILED miserably! This time I am doing things the right way! 1. Put God first and ask Him for daily help! 2. Publicly make myself accountable thru this blog! 3. Working with a Nutritionist who has given me a GREAT meal plan!! 4. Start exercising MY way! I am OBESE, so I can NOT go run 5 miles today! I have not been ACTIVE in FOREVER!! I am starting with what I can do to build up endurance. I am doing the 'Leslie Sansone Walk away the Pounds at Home' Videos! As I build up endurance, then I will increase my exercise regime!!! 5. Eat LESS, STOP eating Hot Cheetos!! Hot Cheetos are my ultimate weakness!! Eat the RIGHT combinations of food in smaller portions! 6. Seek help! I have made a huge step in getting my life back in order. I have sought medical guidance for my depression and my Doctor has given me a personal plan. She will be monitering me! I can beat this!!! 7. Support from my family & friends who have ALWAYS been available for me yet I have pushed them away! Thank you guys for loving me! There are many other things in my life that will help me lose weight and get back on track to healthy living, but these are the most important ones to me! Another thing I HAVE to do and I am doing is letting the death of my son go, once and for all. Letting go of the GRIEF does NOT mean I am forgetting his memory! He will ALWAYS be in my heart! My mom says she is working hard to get to Heaven to hug, kiss and love on her Grandbaby, Josiah Daniel! I also need to visit his grave and get him a proper headstone. I am thinking of having a little memorial service fo him on the anniversary of the day I lost him. That will give me enough time to get stronger and face his grave with dignity! He is no longer there, he is in Heaven! I was wanting to write about what I had eaten and so forth, but this is what came out of my heart! ;) I ate well and I exercised 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night! That is ULTIMATE for me as I have not been active. It kicked my buttocks, but I will build up endurance and get to some hard core exercise when by body is ready!!! I am not going to over do it and then QUIT!! I have to listen to my body! This is what my Doctor and Nutritionist told me to do... well they said 15 minutes a day to start but I did 30..... I can do this!!!! Hence starts the first day of the rest of my life!! Everything will fall into place, because God will be first in my life!!! My walk with God, my celibacy, my health, my job and my whole entire life! This is the way it should be! It's never too LATE to get your life started! I have to BELIEVE that with all of my HEART!! God bless, day one over and out! 10-4!!! ;)
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